I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
