Moan for me like Helen Keller
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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