Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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