First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
