They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
