I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
