Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
