In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
