were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
What drink are we having for lunch?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
