I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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