I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
