I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
