Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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