Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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