thus making me awesome and them whores
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
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Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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