I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
