By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
