you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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