i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
