The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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