I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
