CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
