I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
