Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.

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(323): View more from California

Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets

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(773): View more from Illinois

That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.

(804): View more from Virginia

It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.

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(858): View more from California

I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.

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(802): View more from Vermont

When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.

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