Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Can we have unprotected sex soon?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner

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  (270): Can we have unprotected sex soon? (270): Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner http://tfl.nu/5s3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1800) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?

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  (865): you can't get genital warts from dogs can you? http://tfl.nu/z1i1
  Replies (43) Good night (898) Bad night (14514)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.

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  (240): Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them. http://tfl.nu/3lq3
  Replies (18) Good night (5972) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.

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  (717): Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision. http://tfl.nu/qwmb
  Replies (17) Good night (2917) Bad night (3762)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  only on the fourth of july.

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  (813): right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming. (1-813): only on the fourth of july. http://tfl.nu/s13z
  Replies (20) Good night (8105) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.

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  (205): I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology. http://tfl.nu/8ghc
  Replies (18) Good night (1259) Bad night (4115)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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  (605): dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce. http://tfl.nu/vye8
  Replies (20) Good night (4449) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.

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  (954): Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers. http://tfl.nu/re05
  Replies (3) Good night (3751) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez

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  (847): worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez http://tfl.nu/63fb
  Replies (11) Good night (1061) Bad night (2832)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?

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  (319): dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone? http://tfl.nu/6czx
  Replies (6) Good night (1400) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.

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  (205): I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating. http://tfl.nu/dthl
  Replies (5) Good night (592) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...

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  (301): well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train... http://tfl.nu/vvir
  Replies (2) Good night (931) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.

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  (702): We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly. http://tfl.nu/ykqa
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.

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  (229): Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat. http://tfl.nu/64z4
  Replies (15) Good night (516) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.

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  (305): No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night. http://tfl.nu/ytkw
  Replies (1) Good night (335) Bad night (613)

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