Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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