My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
