just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.