About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway