So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
