Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  pwbgyin

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  what?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  penguin condom

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  (303): pwbgyin (1-303): what? (303): penguin condom http://tfl.nu/0ju9
  Replies (5) Good night (1820) Bad night (724)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.

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  (623): So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving. http://tfl.nu/wfwo
  Replies (83) Good night (3979) Bad night (1288)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.

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  (952): my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck. http://tfl.nu/zv2o
  Replies (17) Good night (1591) Bad night (4439)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?

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  (240): Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders? http://tfl.nu/9s8f
  Replies (15) Good night (4853) Bad night (1213)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon

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  (608): I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon http://tfl.nu/v008
  Replies (10) Good night (1326) Bad night (2138)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.

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  (850): They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here. http://tfl.nu/6x4c
  Replies (3) Good night (2691) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?

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  (+44): Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/0o8e
  Replies (7) Good night (4176) Bad night (828)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (2336) Bad night (1040)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?

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  (620): would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him? http://tfl.nu/7gug
  Replies (4) Good night (1025) Bad night (664)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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  (570): I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out. http://tfl.nu/9vp6
  Replies (7) Good night (2113) Bad night (555)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.

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  (303): You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack. http://tfl.nu/ud5l
  Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.

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  (312): Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown. http://tfl.nu/cr3i
  Replies (1) Good night (927) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.

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  (512): He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came. http://tfl.nu/h4s8
  Replies (5) Good night (1643) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend

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  (505): The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house" (703): Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend http://tfl.nu/7dd6
  Replies (1) Good night (740) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.

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  (307): I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/dw8b
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (246)

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