Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats

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(619): View more from California

I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(903): View more from Texas

I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

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(305): View more from Florida

If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.

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(214): View more from Texas

I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...

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(913): View more from Kansas

The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful

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