just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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