It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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