what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
