Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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