Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
