Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
