She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
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I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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