Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
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I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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