Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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