Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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