I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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