I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
