you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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