I puked a lego.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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