Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize