terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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