chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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