Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
