I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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