Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
