All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize