ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
