so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Terrible idea I love it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
