You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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