Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
