Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
