It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
