Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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