I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All the doctor said was why
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
