The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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