Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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