my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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