you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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