real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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