They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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