so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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