id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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