Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
